


The Coma Story

by Port



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Comas - Freeform, M/M, Romantic Comedy, crackfic, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-17
Updated: 2009-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-05 08:03:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3112253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port/pseuds/Port
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared learns something new he wants to try with his boyfriend, Jensen, who just wishes Jared would stop sleeping with Jeff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Coma Story

**Author's Note:**

> This story is sadly typical of my sense of humor. Do let me know if it makes you laugh, though. That is my favorite thing to hear. Thank you to Tygers for the beta!

When Jeff's in town, he and Jared try to hang out. Tonight, they're doing something a little fancier than usual, dinner in a nice restaurant.

Unsurprisingly, wine glasses and fancy china do nothing to keep their conversation polite. 

"So I handcuffed him to the bed and blew his brains out," Jared finishes. "Er, so to speak." His grin is proud, eyebrows waggling high on his forehead. 

Jeff evinces patient amusement. "Is that the best you've got?"

"It was hot, Jeff. Smokin'."

"Ah, youth." At Jared's glare, he crooks a finger and leans over to whisper in his ear.

A minute later, Jared hisses. "That's not even possible."

"You want to bet?"

Jared stares at him, doubtfully at first, then with growing curiosity.

They skip dessert.

  
~~

In the well-lit parking lot outside the restaurant, Jared and Jeff have sex in the back seat of Jeff's rental car.

Jeff is smug, Jared impressed in spite of himself.

They continue.

Outside the car, you can hear Jared from down the street…. Followed by sudden silence.

  
 **~~~**

Later on, Jeff drops Jared at his house. As soon as the car pulls up, the dogs start barking, but Jared barely notices. He pushes open the passenger-side door and weaves shakily up the walk. He's not drunk.

Jeff leans forward to call out, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Jared spins in an uncertain circle to face Jeff, wearing the silliest, most goofy smile ever. He sends Jeff a double thumbs-up and stumbles to the door.

  
 **~~**

The next morning, the studio van pulls up to Jared's house. 

It honks. 

Honks again. 

A minute later, Jensen climbs out and strides across the lawn, fumbling for the keys Jared gave him early on. Before he finds them, the front door opens and Jared tumbles out, carrying his shoes and forgetting to lock the door. Jensen does it for him, then trails after Jared.

"You okay this morning?" Jensen eyeballs him. "You look a little… shell-shocked."

Jared turns to him, BLINDING him with afterglow. Jensen resists the urge to shade his eyes. He's seen Jared happy and well-fucked before, but this is top-of-the-scale. 

Jared indicates the driver and says, "Later on, I've got to tell you about this."

Grinning happily, Jared stares into the middle space, and Jensen starts to worry. 

  
**~~**

Much later in the day, Jared and Jensen have a private lunch in one of the spare Impalas. Jared is pretty much inhaling his food, while Jensen looks on in doubt.

"You're saying he fucked you so hard, you passed out."

Jared nods enthusiastically. "He said I would, beforehand, but I didn't believe him."

"Lots of guys pass out afterwards, J. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you pretty much fall asleep as soon as we're done." He smirks. He's always considered Jared's stamina a healthy but not insurmountable challenge.

Jared pouts. "Maybe after the second round. But jeez, you should have been there, Jensen. It wasn't falling asleep. He fucked me into _unconsciousness_."

"What's the difference?"

"There's a difference." He takes another bite of his burger and speaks with his mouth full. "Holy fuck, Jensen, you have to try it out."

  
 **~~**

Later still, they're in Jared's trailer, trying to be quiet as Jared gives Jensen a quick blowjob. 

There is dirty talk. Obviously, on Jensen's part only.

Afterward, Jensen pats Jared's hair and fumbles as he tries to pull him back up to face level. "Come ‘ere. I want to…." He gestures vaguely. All dirty-talked out. 

"Nah, don't worry about me," Jared says.

"Don't tell me you…." Intrigued, he gestures again, vocabulary still failing.

"Nope."

Jensen wakes up a little, confused.

"Did you just turn down a blowjob?"

Jared shrugs. "I'm still good from yesterday. Maybe later?"

  
 **~~**

At the end of the shooting day, Jared and Jensen walk side by side down the lot toward their waiting van. Jensen has his hands shoved into his pockets, scowling at the ground. 

"All right, I know I'm in the doghouse here, but—" Jared waves his hands expansively. "Look, I'm just saying, maybe if you tried it out with Jeff, you'd see what I'm—"

"I don't want to have sex with Jeff," Jensen says. Then, "Well, not in anything but a hypothetical sense. But one of us has to be the monogamous one in this relationship."

And Jared has nothing to say to that.

  
 **~~**

When Jared has nothing to say, it doesn't last long. Back in the van, on their way home, he leans into the front passenger seat to whisper in Jensen's ear. "We could have a threesome."

Jensen glares, though he has to admit even the imaginary images are hot. He tucks them away for later.

  
 **~~**

It's two in the morning, but the dogs are frisky and need a walk. As they make their rounds through the empty park a few blocks from Jared's house, Jensen studies what he can see of Jared. 

He still has that post-coital glow.

After a minute of hedging, he opens the subject.

"Jared. Do you. Do you think you could do the same thing? What he did to you last night?"

Jared thinks it over. "Maybe. I might have to call Jeff for pointers, but—I knew it! You want me to fuck you into oblivion!"

Jensen rolls his eyes. "I'm just curious, that's all. I'm not gonna pass out."

"That's what _I_ said." Jared rakes his eyes over Jensen from head to toe, a new spark in his posture. Jensen frowns, wondering what he's gotten into.

  
 **~~**

Not long after they get the dogs home and settled, Jared has Jensen naked and laid out across the bed in the master bedroom. Their fucking is energetic, more so than usual, with Jensen moaning and writhing and loving it.

Jared, however, gets frustrated. After a few minutes, between thrusts, he asks, "Feeling woozy yet?"

Jensen makes a sound deep in his throat, half growl half gasp. "Harder!"

Jared continues.

"Tell me when you start to feel faint."

After a little longer, Jensen does that pleading whimper thing he does when he's close to release. "Please, Jared!"

Jared tips over the edge. He comes right after Jensen and they collapse, sweat-soaked and exhausted. Jared turns over to look at Jensen, watching hopefully as Jensen's eyes roll back in his head. But Jensen blearily refocuses. His body lies prostrate and tensionless, and he aims a beatific, impressed smile at Jared. "Damn."

Jared drops his head down to the mattress, disappointed. "Damn."

  
 **~~**

The next day, they're off from work. While Jensen goes about making breakfast, dressed only in his boxers, Jared hides in the bedroom and calls Jeff.

"…just want some pointers, man. I'm really good at the—you know. But he didn't pass out, not even a little."

"What can I say, Jared? Some of us have it, and others don't. What about that thing you told me about at the restaurant. The one with the—"

Jared huffs. No, really. "Who do you think I did that with in the first place? Jensen loves it, but it's old news. I want to make him lose consciousness."

A long pause. "Should I be worried?"

"What? No! Look, I just want to know what your—your trick was. How did you _do_ that?"

Jensen calls from the kitchen. "Jared! Don't make me feed your portion to the dogs!"

A threat to take seriously. Jensen has no respect for the dogs' diets. "Come on, Jeff. I'll owe you one."

"How about you owe me two. You and Jensen. My place. I'll show you two anything you want."

Jared's eyes go big, and for a minute, he considers it. Strangely, though, he's not too disappointed when he has to say, "Jen's not too into that sort of thing. But he thinks you're hot, if that's any consolation."

Jeff does sound disappointed. "I guess it will have to be."

  
 **~~**

Maybe a breakfast this late should be called brunch. Whatever the case, Jared and Jensen eat it sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, Jensen in his boxers, Jared shirtless above a loose pair of jeans. All revved up from Jeff's advice, Jared keeps his eyes on Jensen, predator-like and eager, as Jensen tries to finish his eggs in peace. He won't meet Jared's eyes, but kicks his feet under the table. A few minutes of this, and Jensen manages a gulp of coffee before they simultaneously stand up, Jared knocking over his chair, and race for the living room couch.

Jared catches Jensen with one long arm around his side and presses their lips together, hands grasping him wherever they land. Jensen allows it and palms Jared through his jeans, the other hand squeezing Jared's shoulder for balance. 

Gasping, Jared takes hold of Jensen and half-pushes, half-lowers him backwards onto the couch, climbing up to straddle him. They make out for a while, all hands and teeth and lips and knees. Finally, Jared pulls on the waistband of Jensen's boxers. Jensen wriggles out of them as Jared shucks his jeans. In the very brief lull, Jensen breathes heavily. He turns his face to the side when Jared holds himself up on his elbows and hovers above him, taking the opportunity to lave Jensen's neck as he presses their groins together. 

Jensen's eyes stay open, wide and unfocused. Soon, though, he becomes aware of Jared's dog Sadie standing next to the couch with a tennis ball in her mouth. She wags her tail expectantly.

Jensen groans, mostly because Jared has moved up to his ear, licking it and… breathing hot and measured and loud.

Sadie whines, and Jensen curses the soft spot he has for Jared's dogs. 

He holds out a hand, and she promptly places the ball in it. As soon as he's thrown it across the room and down the hall, Sadie scampers off. 

"Dude," Jared says. He nips Jensen's ear, making Jensen's hips twist up. 

"Jared, I'm dying here."

"Okay. I'm gonna do you now." 

Jensen spreads his legs, allowing Jared to settle between them as he goes through his discarded jeans for a condom and packet of lube. Jensen watches him roll it on, and then Jared gets down to business.

He presses inside very slowly while Jensen twists and writhes, his arms outstretched above his head. Jared is almost as far in as he can bring himself, and he holds himself there, enjoying the sight of Jensen tense and straining for him like that. 

Silently, he goes over Jeff's instructions.

Jensen moans impatiently, and Jared starts moving, a lot like he had last night. He's just reached the rhythm Jeff described when he notices Sadie trot up to the couch with the tennis ball in her mouth and maneuver it back into Jensen's hand, still held up above his head. Jensen only seems to notice when on a sudden thrust from Jared, he clenches his hand around it and looks a little surprised to find it there.

Sadie sits on her haunches and whimpers. She doesn't take her eyes off the tennis ball. Jared watches Jensen flick it away down the hall, and he's a little relieved when Sadie goes trotting after it. He's never liked it when the dogs watch. It seems wrong somehow.

Jensen is going crazy beneath him, and Jared realizes he's lost the rhythm he was going for. He's found a new one, one he's never used before. Jensen clearly likes it, so he speeds it up and rolls his hips at random. Jensen is incoherent.

"This isn't what Jeff described, but…." Jared pants, unable to complete the sentence.

"You—asked Jeff for—" And then Jensen freezes with his back arched for a long moment.

Jared, following Jeff's directions, continues jacking into him as Jensen comes, but it's only a few seconds before he too finds release.

As the bliss clears, Jared lifts himself off Jensen, trying to catch his breath. The only other sound is the familiar one of Sadie's tennis ball hitting the carpet… over and over again. Jared opens his eyes to find Jensen's are still closed, his hand limply hanging over the edge of the couch. Sadie tries once more to place the ball in his hand, but Jensen remains unresponsive. Her mournful whine echoes through the house.

  
 **~~**

Soon after, Jared speed-dials Jeff's number. "Pick up. Come on, pick up." He glances behind him at the couch.

"Jared? Calling for more advice?"

"No, no more advice. I—I did it."

"Well, congratulations! Now you're a man. Was there anything—"

"No, no. You don't understand. I fucked him into unconsciousness."

"And? Wasn't that the point?"

Actually, it wasn't entirely. Jared's pretty in love with Jensen, and he uses sex to express that. He'd wanted this to _mean_ something, damn it. 

"No. Jeff—Jensen's not waking up."

"What do you mean he's not waking up?"

"I mean I've checked his airway, breathing and circulation, and they're all fine. But he won't wake up no matter how hard I try."

"Then what are you doing calling me? He needs an ambulance!"

"I can't call Jensen an ambulance! He's a TV star!" Like so many things, it makes total sense in Jared's head, right up to the moment it comes out his mouth.

"Jared. Again. What are you doing calling me?"

Jared sputters. "You're the one who taught me how to do it. I thought with your experience you'd have run into this problem before."

"A coma?"

"Oh, crap."

  
 **~~**

Perhaps due to shock, Jared decides against calling an ambulance. He chooses instead to carry Jensen to the bedroom, where Jensen rests with his head on a pillow and lots of blankets piled over him. He sleeps angelically.

Jared sits on the floor, against the side of the bed. He has Jensen's hand in his own and strokes it softly.

"I'm so sorry, Jensen."

Sadie comes over and drops the ball in his lap.

  
 **~~**

It's the middle of the night in Jared's bedroom. Jensen stirs and opens his eyes. The room is dark, but for a few scented candles guttering on the bedside tables.

"The hell?" Somehow, Jensen isn't surprised Jared has scented candles. He just has no idea why they're out.

He sits up and looks around for Jared, but Jared is nowhere to be seen until he swings his feet out from under the covers to the floor and encounters a body.

"Jared?" Jensen rubs his head and tries to see if there's any reason for Jared to be lying on the floor, fully clothed, huddled together with both his dogs.

There is no reason he can think of, but this is Jared, so Jensen doesn't give it too much thought. Jared hasn't woken up, and he seems pretty comfortable down there, so Jensen decides not to disturb him. 

The dogs, however, are another matter. Harley's ears perk up, and Sadie wriggles out from Jared's embrace to look up with longing at Jensen.

"Wanna go out?" Jensen asks.

Sadie scrambles to the door, followed closely by Harley, so Jensen takes that as a yes. He follows them downstairs and lets them into the backyard, where he stands and takes in the night air. Jensen doesn't remember much from before he fell asleep, but he feels good. Real good. He's got a feeling he'll be good for the rest of the week.

  
 **~~**

Sunlight slants in through the shades onto Jared's face, itching his nose and waking him up. He scratches without coordination, feeling the effects of sleeping on a wood floor all night. He should have crawled in with Jensen, but he hadn't felt he had a right to touch him, let alone sleep with him, after what he'd done. 

No, he really doesn't deserve to be near him. But Jared has decided to take care of Jensen for however long it takes for the coma to end, if it even does. Then he's going to apologize, quit Supernatural, swear off acting and sex, move back to Texas and spend all his time volunteering at soup kitchens. Or possibly homeless shelters. Maybe the Humane Society. 

And okay, he hasn't thought down all the details yet, but he has a basic plan, and that's the important thing. Well, the other important thing. His main concern is Jensen's health. He wonders if he should call a doctor, and, if he did, what he should say brought on the coma.

Jared groans. The implications of Jensen's coma are way too morbid a subject for this early in the morning. This early on a non-work day, Jared's usually sleeping late with Jensen, or they'll be making out lazily in bed, looking forward to a big greasy breakfast. But there will be none of that today, since Jared's too heartsick to eat and Jensen's in a coma.

Jared stands up carefully, not wanting to pull the blankets away from Jensen, and studies him for any change. But Jensen is still asleep, breathing easily, cheeks a little rosy. Jared has no idea why he messes around with Jeff when he has Jensen waiting around talking about monogamy. 

Well, okay. It's Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Even Jensen doesn't blame him.

But whatever. Somehow, Jared doubts that'll be an issue anymore.

He sits on the edge of the bed and takes Jensen's hand in his own, not noticing when Jensen blinks awake. Jared is too lost in thought, wondering how long a coma can last, how many years Jensen might spend resting on this very bed. 

"I swear, Jensen. I swear I'll stay right here and take care of you, no matter how long it takes. Even if it's years or decades, I'll be right here when you wake up." He squeezes Jensen's hand, tightly.

"Ow, dude." Jared jumps back, and Jensen looks up at him with one eyebrow raised. "I had this weird dream you were proposing to me in my sleep—Whoa!"

Jared lands on top of Jensen and engulfs him in his arms, rolling them over in a tangle of blankets and sheets. Jared has tears in his eyes.

"I thought I fucked you into eternal oblivion!"

Unable to think of a proper response (or any response, really) Jensen holds Jared tenderly and lets him cry it out.

  
 **~~**

It's a week before Jensen can get Jared to even consider having sex again.

"I don't want to hurt you," Jared explains. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

If he weren't so damn in love with Jared, Jensen would have to reconsider this whole monogamy thing.

  
 **~~**

So Jensen has to ease Jared back into having sex. He starts with a kiss behind a screen of trees in the park. They suck face for long minutes while Sadie and Harley chase each other around. It's nice, even more than it should be. Probably because they haven't been intimate in so long. A week and a half. But Jared puts a hand against Jensen's chest and pushes him away.

"Come on, Jared."

"No, it's too dangerous."

Jensen sighs.

  
 **~~**

Tom Welling is out of town and needs someone to water his plants, so Jensen brings Jared with him to Tom's apartment, intending to put Tom's Jacuzzi to good use. Once the tub is filled up with hot, bubbling water, it isn't too hard to get Jared to strip naked with him. They sink into the water, and Jensen isn't ashamed to make exaggerated noises of contentment as his muscles unknot. Across the tub from him, Jared's skin is turning pink, and he wears an expression of ecstatic admiration. Jensen wades across and straddles Jared's lap.

Despite Jared's best intentions, wild, splashy Jacuzzi sex follows.

Jensen finally brings Jared off, enjoying Jared's incoherency, content to wait a minute for Jared to uncross his eyes. At which point Jared takes hold of Jensen, pushes him into a new position, and starts to work him up. Jensen bites down on Jared's neck, enjoying the light scrape of teeth across skin and the feel of Jared's hand after its long absence.

Then Jared gasps and splashes backward.

"Oh, no." Just, no, Jensen thinks. "I'm going to kill you if you don't come back here."

"But—"

"Now." Jensen strains not to touch himself as Jared wrings his hands and shakes his head. 

"I'm sorry. I can't."

Jensen grits his teeth. "Yes. You. Can."

But Jared only squeezes his eyes shut and sinks beneath the water. Jensen waits for him to resurface, and when he doesn't, he's resigned to bringing himself off. It takes a few minutes of pulling and pumping, and it's not as sweet as it would have been with Jared, but eventually he has a good enough orgasm. 

He sighs and reaches for Jared, pulling him out from under the water. "I'm done now. Let's go."

Jared gulps in lots of air and follows him out.

  
 **~~**

Afterward, Jensen drops Jared off at home. Jared closes the car door behind him and leans into the open window. "So, see you tonight?"

Jensen sighs. "I think… we need some time off. You're traumatized and I'm frustrated. It's not the greatest combination."

"Time off? You mean like… away from each other?"

"Just for a little while. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe you should go hang out with Jeff, get your confidence back or something."

"But I don't want Jeff anymore. Or anyone else. Only you."

Jensen blushes, his expression changing from tense to conflicted. "You want me, but you don't want to have sex with me."

"I want you ten ways to next Sunday, but I don't want to hurt you!"

"You never hurt me, J."

"You were in a coma!"

"And I woke up feeling fucking fantastic! What exactly is the problem?"

Jared shrugs and looks down. "You wouldn't wake up."

He's so sad, dejected and ashamed, and Jensen knows he'd never be able to end things with him, let alone take a break. "Come on, get in," Jensen says.

Jared looks up. "What?"

"Get in the car. We'll take a ride or something. No pressure."

Jared gets in and they drive away.

  
 **~~**

They roll out of the city and into the surrounding area, just enjoying the scenery, casting tentative little looks at each other and making small talk. They drive for hours. As the sun sets, Jensen pulls into a deserted road on a ridge and finds a place to park. They have a pretty view of the horizon, the sunset lulling and colorful.

It's been a long day, and Jensen finds himself nodding off. Beside him, Jared looks content with their parking spot, so Jensen is okay with falling asleep. He contemplates the pros and cons of dating someone who's sworn to celibacy and decides that although it wouldn't be ideal, they might be able to make it work. He closes his eyes….

  
 **~~**

Jared has been unhappy and quiet the entire trip, at odds with himself over wanting to be with Jensen and his fear of putting him into another coma. He sighs and looks over at Jensen, surprised to find him sleeping.

After a few minutes, he realizes he's staring.

"Jensen," he whispers. "Wake up."

Jensen snoozes on.

Jared doesn't take his eyes off him. "Jen! Hey!"

No response. Jared nudges him, gently at first, then harder. Still no response.

Jared fumbles for his cell phone.

  
 **~~**

Jeff is in bed with Eric Close. They're naked, Eric unconscious and Jeff stroking one hand along his thigh, as well as making sure he hasn't stopped breathing. After a few minutes, Eric blinks awake and sighs happily.

"I can't believe you did that."

Jeff grins and leans over to cuddle or make out or something, but sits back up when his phone rings. It's Jared Padalecki. Jeff sighs and debates not answering, but he's a little curious about whether Jensen ever woke up from his coma. So he sends Eric an apologetic look and flips open the phone.

"Jeff, you have to help me!"

"Haven't I given you enough help?"

"Jensen's in a coma! He won't wake up!"

"And this is news? It's been a week or two, hasn't it?"

"No, he's in _another_ coma! What do I do?"

Jeff enunciates slowly. "Call. Nine. One. One."

There's a pause in which Jeff can almost hear Jared's confusion. "Does 9-1-1 work in Canada?"

Oh, yeah. Jeff sighs and looks longingly at Eric Close, who is stroking himself lazily, staring up at him with bedroom eyes. "Give it a shot. Gotta go, Jayre."

Jeff hangs up and licks his lips. Time for Round 4.

  
 **~~**

As a matter of fact, 9-1-1 does work in Canada.

  
 **~~**

Lying asleep in a hospital bed, Jensen is surrounded by Jared, Eric Kripke and a doctor.

The doctor asks, "What was he doing right before he passed out?"

Jared is still as bewildered as when he'd called Jeff: "Nothing! One minute we were parked and watching the sunset, the next he was in a coma. We didn't even have sex!"

Kripke sighs deeply and presses his fingers to his temples.

  
 **~~**

Early the next morning, sunlight streams into Jensen's hospital room, falling on Jared and Jensen's intertwined fingers. Jared is asleep with his head on the bed, and Jensen is just waking up.

"The hell? Jared, wake up!"

Jared lifts his head, groggy from a long night. His eyes are red and surrounded by dark rings. "Jen?"

"What's going on, man?" Jensen looks around the little room and notices a saline drip plugged into his arm. "Did something happen?"

The doctor strides into the room, altogether too peppy for this time of day. "So, you're finally up. You'll be glad to know I have your diagnosis."

"Okay, but first, what are my symptoms?"

The doctor looks a little derailed. 

Jared squeezes Jensen's hand. "You were in a coma. Again."

Jensen reflects on this and its implications. He doesn't quite remember what they were doing when he passed out. "Does that mean you finally got over your fear of having sex with me?"

In the doorway, just arriving, Eric Kripke stumbles, covers his ears and walks right back out.

They all watch him go, and then the doctor explains. "Mr. Ackles, you have a rare form of narcolepsy that causes you to fall into a deep, unconscious state. These states will last anywhere from several hours to a day at the most. Fortunately, their onset will only occur after you've fallen asleep naturally, so there's no need to worry about randomly passing out and falling into a ‘coma.'"

Jared and Jensen eye each other as they digest that.

"So," Jared asks, "sex has nothing to do with it."

The doctor smiles brightly. "Nothing at all."

Jared casts an incredibly relieved look at Jensen. Jensen sends an equally happy look at Jared. 

The doctor starts to look a little uncomfortable. "I'll just close the door on my way out."

They don't even notice him leave.

  
 **~~**

The hospital bed is cramped, squeaky and unsteady, but Jared and Jensen make do.

  
 **~~**

They're lying awkwardly on the hospital bed, tangled up together and tired. Jared is asleep with his head on Jensen's shoulder, his arm resting on Jensen's bare chest. Jensen has one arm around Jared's naked shoulders and his other hand holding onto Jared's wrist.

That's how Kripke finds them when he enters, carrying a bouquet of flowers. He stops short, a little amazed at how cute and snuggly they are.

Jensen looks up, ducks his head a little, then puts a finger to his lips and indicates Jared.

"Shhhhhh."

Kripke rolls his eyes and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

  
 **The End.**


End file.
